B U L L E T I N

Happy New Year!

1. New Year Message - A purposeful life – Huffington post
2. A Note about Sean Hannity, Stuart Varney and Fox News –request
3. Note about Bridgette Gabriel’s comment on Fox News – upon request
4. American Muslims are proud of taking the right step - Link
5. Moderate Muslims Speak out? Link

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Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Texas Faith: Is belief overrated?

The Hindus invariably invoke and bow to Ganesh aspect of God, the remover of obstacles, and the Muslims say, ”Bismillah” - to start in the name of God who is merciful.... .Some of us feel sanctimonious when we are in our place of worship. Ironically, arrogance creeps in instead of humility. We become the righteous ones, and everyone else becomes a loser, as if God has signed a deal with us behind others back. In the process we make a villain out of God. No matter what faith we profess, arrogance is the same. That leads to conflicts between us and the other soul - Mike Ghouse
 
Texas Faith : Is belief overrated?
Dallas Morning News | Published on June 25, 2013
By Bill McKenzie 

A couple of weeks ago, Keven Willey, the Morning News‘ editorial page editor, passed along this essay from Stanford anthropologist T. M. Luhrmann, author of “When God Talks Back: Understanding the American Evangelical Relationship with God.” As you will see from this link as well, Luhrmann gets into several lines of thought about belief and how we arrive at it religious convictions.
 
What I would like you to comment upon is this part of her New York Times essay:
 
“The role of belief in religion is greatly overstated, as anthropologists have long known. In 1912, Emile Durkheim, one of the founders of modern social science, argued that religion arose as a way for social groups to experience themselves as groups. He thought that when people experienced themselves in social groups, they felt bigger than themselves, better, more alive — and that they identified that aliveness as something supernatural. Religious ideas arose to make some sense of this experience of being part of something greater. Durkheim thought that belief was more like a flag than a philosophical position: You don’t go to church because you believe in God; rather you believe in God because you go to church.”
 
Applying that thinking to religion in general, not just churches, here is the question for the week:
 
Is belief overrated?
 
MIKE GHOUSE, President, Foundation for Pluralism
 
Indeed, belief is overrated. It is not necessarily our belief in God that drives us to be good being. Rather, it is the necessity of co-existence.
 
We are taught to thank God, and give credit to God for all the good that happens in our lives. Dale Carnegie explains the wisdom in his best seller, “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” It was the idea to inculcate humility in us. Humility builds bridges and sustains relationships, whereas arrogance destroys it.

Among most people of faith, God remains an integral part of our language and culture. The traditional Baha’is, Jewish and Muslims have devised short phrases to utter for just about everything that happens in their lives between birth and death.
 
If you ask a Muslim how he or she is doing, out comes the response, “Alhamdu Lillah I am fine.” That means praise the Lord. If they commit to do something, they will always add, “Insha Allah” – God willing.” And no matter what they do, they say, ”Bismillah” – start in the name of God who is merciful. The Hindus invariably invoke and bow to Ganesh aspect of God, the remover of obstacles.
 
The eternal question remains, “You don’t go to church because you believe in God; rather you believe in God because you go to church.” I have battled with this thought for ages. Is it the essence or the ritual that makes one religious? Ritual becomes cultural part of our psyche, and we do things without meaning it. Many of us are cultural Christians, Jews, Hindus, Muslims or others.
 
Some of us feel sanctimonious when we are in our place of worship. Ironically, arrogance creeps in instead of humility. We become the righteous ones, and everyone else becomes a loser, as if God has signed a deal with us behind others back. In the process we make a villain out of God. No matter what faith we profess, arrogance is the same. That leads to conflicts between us and the other soul.
 
The essence of religion is to create societies where no one fears the other and people mind their own business. That is achievable through humility, not arrogance.
 
The shallower your faith, the greater your claim to the superiority of your faith, as if you are trying to offset the deficiency. At that point, belief is indeed overrated.
 
 
. . . . .
Mike Ghouse is a speaker, thinker and a writer on pluralism
, politics, peace, Islam, Israel, India, interfaith, and cohesion at work place. He is committed to building a Cohesive America and offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day at www.TheGhousediary.com. He believes in Standing up for others and has done that throughout his life as an activist. Mike has a presence on national and local TV, Radio and Print Media. He is a frequent guest on Sean Hannity show and Bill O'Reilly show on Fox TV, and a commentator on national radio networks, he contributes weekly to the Texas Faith Column at Dallas Morning News; fortnightly at Huffington post; and several other periodicals across the world. His personal site www.MikeGhouse.net indexes all his work through many links. 

Sunday, June 23, 2013

SPANK your wife 'to correct misbehavior' - The Christian Movement.

It is disgusting to read that a group called Christian Domestic Discipline is actually teaching how to spank the wife, this is not acceptable. For years, many a Muslims also believed in this non-sense.

This is the practice of  insecure men, regardless of what religion they wear, they abuse religion to justify their bad acts.  We should not let any one abuse religion, be it Islam, Christianity, HIndu or the other.  Religion does not sanction this abuse and disrespect to a fellow being. This will eventually stop if each one of us condemns it.
Discipline: In CDD, husbands spank their submissive wives in order to correct misbehavior


Aren't there men out there who abuse their spouses and yet call themselves Muslims, Christians, Buddhists,  Hindus, Sikhs, Jews and others?  It is not the religion, it is them!
On the other hand, what's wrong with these women who subject themselves to such humility. Spanking, controlling, and abusing some one who is dependent and weaker than you is the thing of insecure men, this has got to go, if they do it, it is because who they are, and not because of their religion.

I can never forget a guest Imam in Dallas, who was in an interfaith meeting responding with a smirk on his face,  to a Christian couple's question, "that the man can beat his wife with a small thing like a tooth pick or Miswak (a pencil size branch of tree to brush the teeth) and he ascribes that to Quran, and adds, you cannot hurt, but you can discipline. Those guys were appalled. I reacted instantly that he needs to refresh his knowledge, he is not current with the research work. He continues to bullshit Muslims.

Indeed, that was what the "men" had interpreted for ages to justify their rotten behavior. No one can claim that there aren't men in their religions like that.

In case of Islam, this is  not true as it does not reflect the life of the prophet nor does it add up to the respect given to woman in Quran and by the prophet.  You can read more about it at - http://quraan-today.blogspot.com/2009/05/wife-beating-quraan-434.html and http://worldmuslimcongress.blogspot.com/2008/01/wife-beating-434.html and there are a few more articles in those sites. Indeed, that verse in Quran has been misinterpreted for ages, it took a woman to fix it. Thanks to Dr. Laila Bakhtiar and Edip Yuskel for the two revised translations of Quran to truly reflect the teachings of the prophet and common sense wisdom of Quran.

URL- http://pluralismcenter.blogspot.com/2013/06/spank-your-wife-to-correct-misbehavior.html 
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The 'Christian' movement that tells husbands to SPANK their wives 'to correct misbehavior'


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2346393/The-Christian-movement-tells-husbands-SPANK-wives-correct-misbehavior.html#ixzz2X3wzun2x
 

A growing number of married American couples are agreeing to allow husbands to keep their wives 'in line' by taking to corporal punishment.
The trend is called Christian Domestic Discipline and much of what is known about the practice is published on the website Learning Domestic Discipline, published by husband and wife CDD duo, Clint and Chelsea.
The website states: 'It is an arrangement between two adults who share the belief that the husband is the head of the household and with that position comes the right to enforce his authority.'
Clint and Chelsea have also written a 50-page packet on the practice called Beginning Domestic Discipline.
Manifesto: Learningdd.com is a source of a lot of information on the new painful Christian trend
Manifesto: Learningdd.com is a source of a lot of information on the new painful Christian trend

Discipline: In CDD, husbands spank their submissive wives in order to correct misbehavior
In the packet they describe CDD as a ‘practice between two consenting life partners in which the head of household (HoH) takes the necessary measures to achieve a healthy relationship dynamic.’
That translates to all methods of punishment, not exclusive to spanking. Clint and Chelsea advocate lecturing, removing privileges, corner and bedroom time – essentially the ways most people discipline their children. 

For CDD enthusiasts, this type of punishment isn’t sexual in nature.

Vera (anonymous last name),  who is in a CDD relationship with her husband told The Daily Beast that the practice is in no-way sexual. 

'The pure CDD people don't go there. A lot of folks think of Fifty Shades of Grey - but this is not that.’
Spanking is clearly the bread and butter of this kind of relationship. Eighteen pages of the CDD manifesto are dedicated to spanking and how to properly go about administering spanks. 
Tools: A hairbrush is one of the listed items sanctioned for spanking on in the Beginning Domestic Discipline packet
Tools: A hairbrush is one of the listed items sanctioned for spanking on in the Beginning Domestic Discipline packet
Paddle: A wooden spoon is another spanking tool. In the packet, Clint and Chelsea warn that one of the cons with this tool is that it 'can break easily'

Paddle: A wooden spoon is another spanking tool. In the packet, Clint and Chelsea warn that one of the cons with this tool is that it 'can break easily'

Clint and Chelsea talk about all aspects of spanking such as the ‘awkward’ first spanking, the various tools that can be used to administer the spankings, what position the wife should be in and the pros and cons of spanking over or under clothing.  

Corporal punishment at home obviously leads to questions about whether or not this is domestic abuse. Clint and Chelsea stress in their packet that CDD should only practiced by consenting adults and that the HoH should never punish while angry. 

‘If the HoH becomes angry, they must do whatever it takes to get themselves back to a calm, reasonable, rational, level-headed, and collected state before making any decision or carrying out any punishment.’ 

But as evidenced on many forums dedicated to CDD, the practice has turned violent in cases. 
‘I wanted the spankings to stop and my husband told me it was either DD and marriage or divorce. I chose divorce. I couldn't handle the pain of spankings anymore, emotionally or physically,’ a woman named Michelle wrote on a popular CDD blog found in reporting by The Daily Beast. 

What’s scarier is how little fear is expressed in these forums.
XOJane writer Laura Rubino investigated the issue and trolled the internet looking for horror stories but was surprised when she ‘didn’t find as many of those as I was expecting to.’
'Most of the women who write about their CDD experiences online are not complaining. Many of them report feeling extremely calm and relaxed after being disciplined, and believe it is an expression of their husband caring about them and their marriage, enough to help them modify their behavior,’ Rubino said. 

The punishment, Rubino said, offers these women a clean slate and they don’t have to worry about passive aggressive tension after a fight. 

While many of these women rave about CDD, it’s not something that Rubino would voluntarily sign herself up for.

‘Walking around my own home, conscious of the fact that any perceived transgression could result in physical pain and a surrendering of control of my body? That would stress me the f*** out. I don't find that sexy at all. Scary, yes. Hot? Not so much.'

Jim Alsdurf, a forensic psychologist who has written a book on abuse in Christian homes, agrees. 
‘No fool in his right mind would but this as a legitimate way to have a relationship. A relationship that infantilizes a woman is one that clearly draws a more pathological group of people.’ 
Even conservative Christians aren’t behind this trend. Radio host Bryan Fisher told The Huffington Post that he finds no basis in Christianity for such a relationship. He described the trend as ‘horrifying,’ ‘ bizarre,’ ‘unbiblical’ and ’un-Christian’.

'God in the New Testament clearly asks wives to arrange themselves under the leadership of their husbands (in Greek, the word 'submit' means 'to arrange under.') But there is no place where husbands are instructed to make their wives do it or punish them if they don't.'
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2346393/The-Christian-movement-tells-husbands-SPANK-wives-correct-misbehavior.html#ixzz2X3wgC6iZ
 

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Mike Ghouse is a speaker, thinker and a writer on pluralism, politics, peace, IslamIsraelIndiainterfaith, and cohesion at work place. He is committed to building a Cohesive America and offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day at www.TheGhousediary.com. He believes inStanding up for others and has done that throughout his life as an activist. Mike has a presence on national and local TV, Radio and Print Media. He is a frequent guest on Sean Hannity show on Fox TV, and a commentator on national radio networks, he contributes weekly to the Texas Faith Column at Dallas Morning News; fortnightly at Huffington post; and several other periodicals across the world. His personal site www.MikeGhouse.net indexes all his work through many links. 

Friday, June 21, 2013

Ghouse to FBI - Robert Mueller, take that poster down

Mike Ghouse on O'Reilly Factor,  Fox News tonight with Laura Ingram at 8:00 PM EST about the offensive poster. ‘Offensive to Muslims’: Mike Ghouse and Dem congressman Jim McDermott calls on FBI to take down photos of terrorists.


Mike Ghouse to FBI on Fox News -  "Robert Mueller, take that poster down"
The O'Reilly Factor - Laura Ingraham - Mike Ghouse 6/21/2013




First of all, as a society, we have a responsibility to keep law and order and faithfully guard the safety of every citizen. Hate is one of the many sources of disrupting the peace in a society and it is our duty to track down the source of such hate and mitigate the conflicts and nurture goodwill.  

FBI routinely posts the pictures of  the wanted terrorists in the post offices and public places, and even displayed on TV networks – so, if people spot them, they can report. 

Look at the stupidity of FBI – these terrorists are not in America, how will an American ever spot these dudes? That ad should be posted in Yemen, Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan, not here in America. That is waste of tax payer dollars.
Poster on Seattle Bus- needs to come down
The 2nd Mistake is. Terrorists come in all colors, religions and races – to place the Muslim ones exclusively is damn stereotyping and a cause of hatred and disruption. This ad has got to go.

No American has to live in tension, apprehensions and fear of the other, that is the kind of cohesive America we want to build. 

I had warned Fox news right here on September 23 and again on October 8,  in two different appearances (http://www.myfoxphoenix.com/story/19631912/2012/09/25/controversial-anti-muslim-ad)  that the posters in the New York subway by Pamela Geller was 
dangerous to fellow Americans, particularly Muslim women wearing a scarf, Catholic women coming from a Church, Sikh Women, the older Hindu women with part of the Saree covering their head, the Non-Muslim women from Africa donning their cultural headdress. Does the city have a role in imbuing a sense of security in her people, or each citizen is on his or her own? Did you know a Hindu man was killed on the subway on mistaken Identity, is the security of that person means nothing? Who is responsible for the death of that individual? 

I am proud of Congressman, Jim McDermott from Washington State to work against stereotyping any one. The Daily Caller reports the following:
McDermott, a Democrat from Washington state, voiced his “deep concern” about the ad, which shows mug shots of international terrorists, and asked the FBI chief to “reconsider publicizing” it.

 
According to McDermott, the “ad featuring sixteen photos of wanted terrorists is not only offensive to Muslims and ethnic minorities, but it encourages racial and religious profiling.”
 McDermott continued, “Representing terrorists, however, from only one ethnic or religious group, promotes stereotypes and ignores other forms of extremism. The FBI’s ‘Most Wanted Terrorists List‘ includes individuals of other races and associated with other religions and causes, but their faces are missing from this campaign.”

My previous appearance on The O'Reilly factor -  http://theghousediary.blogspot.com/2013/06/ghouse-on-bill-oreilly-about-indonesian.html

--

Mike Ghouse is a speaker, thinker and a writer on pluralism
, politics, peace, Islam, Israel,India, interfaith, and cohesion at work place. He is committed to building a Cohesive Americaand offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day at www.TheGhousediary.com. He believes in Standing up for others and has done that throughout his life as an activist. Mike has a presence on national and local TV, Radio and Print Media. He is a frequent guest on Sean Hannity show on Fox TV, and a commentator on national radio networks, he contributes weekly to the Texas Faith Column at Dallas Morning News; fortnightly at Huffington post; and several other periodicals across the world. His personal site www.MikeGhouse.net indexes all his work through many links.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Sexual fantasies of Muslim clerics; Virgins in heaven with endless sex

First of all Memri-TV focuses on making their money by  providing entertainment based in making fun of Arabs in particular, and Muslims in general. They pick some idiot in some corner of the Middle East and present him as the main stream Muslim leader. Unfortunately for many who don't question, this looks like the view of all Muslims, because it is coming from “Memri Research Institute,” Baloney!  It is not the view of Muslims. 

The talk about virgins is a fantasy of impotent men to live off in an elusive world.  They have fired up their own imaginations with endless sexual appetite, that they don't have it.  It is just not a few random Muslim clerics, but it is the fantasy of men from different races, ethnicities and religions,   men who are disappointed in their own manhood. 
The ugly fact of this story is, what these guys are talking about is in the literature,  just like the hard core pornographic magazines in American society are available, there is hard core literature among a few Muslim clerics– which does not represent the values of Islam. Even though most Muslims do not subscribe to this, they are afraid to question.


Here are three videos that I have watched: 
  1. No Black women or Asian women found or wanted in Muslim heavenhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8lhuMG1fbQ&feature=youtu.be
  2. Saudi Cleric Al Sweilem Extols Paradise's Black Eyed Virginshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60kEEdkWgzE
  3. جنت میں حوروں کا تصورvirgins of Paradise Ur V  
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkT_P3FRjg4
The 3rd video is 7:38 Minute video and in Urdu language, the first part through 3rd minute is pure pornography. I bet the teens with raging sexual desires will possibly masturbate to this guys talk.


I am glad I ran into this video because of 2nd part of this video: Mirza Tahir Ahmad interprets this as fantasy – he talks about “hoor” as an ideal man and woman in paradise free from the cycles of desires and satisfaction. Pleasure is a mental thing. I like his interpretation and response, except one small thing: The way he compares spicy Asian foods to the “tasteless” western food.  If he can improve on that comparison without the tone of denigration, I would pass this as an educational video.

Is it possible he is talking about the abstract ideals?


When the cleric in firs video talks about women should look at their men only, is he talking about super focused relationship with total loyalty? - It should have been vice versa also which the misogynistic idiot refuses to see.

When he talks about the strength of 1000 men, (in the 3rd video, the guy talks about 100 men) is he talking about what guys dream about in a relationship to please the woman sexually?

It sounds like fantasy of impotent men. Impotency is not derogatory, some men like this sheikh really believe in fantasy of being a potent man in that elusive paradise.
Are these guys transferring the ideal of this world- good sex, loyalty and exclusivity which they may not have to the fantasy of Paradise? Is their paradise a fantasy of day dreaming, that they consider being real and looking forward to it. 

As a Muslim, these videos are repulsive to me, they denigrate women. It’s not just a few Muslims who do this; it is by insecure men in all societies, faiths and races.

Mike Ghouse is a thinker, writer and a speaker on pluralism, interfaith, Islam, politics and building civil societies and offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day.www.MikeGhouse.net and www.TheGhousediary.com

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Examples of pluralism poetry in Hindi and Urdu

Thanks for the inquiries and clarifications about pluralism theme – let me sum up my work of 20 years, “If we can learn to respect the otherness of others, and accept the genetic uniqueness of each one of the 7 billion of us, then conflicts fade and solutions emerge.” Pluralism is simply an attitude.   
Some samples of poetry thus far;
I would encourage you to write on different issues where our attitudes determine the   pluralistic attitudes of acceptance of the other. Pluralism is not limited to religion, it is applicable in social, cultural, food, clothing, and linguistic, nationalistic, and ethnic aspects of life. Let’s face them with an attitude of an acceptable solution without aggravating the situation, and instead of keeping inside and poisoning the blood, lets discuss them in poetry format.
  • Naheed Shad’s poetry is going to be focusing on samajik issues, and I am pleased to hear that. It would be a breath of fresh air.
  • Ravi Kumar has included "bhook" in his poem ( this would be a good format – roman English and Hindi/Urdu- to benefit all readers – we request the poets to write the roman english in their own words, as others may mess it up).
saaraa aalam hee rotaa ho, jab bhookha koi sotaa ho 
सारा आलम ही रोता हो, जब भूखा कोई सोता हो
  • Taj Hashmi wrote on universality of righteousness
     Sab ke chhatoN par aur kehtoN meiN pani barsata hai 
Khuda Woh to yeh nahiN poochhta, “Tu ne mujhey aaj  yaad kiya hai ya nahiN”?

When He showers rain, it happens on every rooftop, no garden is out of its way
God never asks the silly question: “Did you remember me today?”

  •  Shah Alam Asar writes,
Pandito, Rahibo, Mullao meri baat suno
Ibne Adam hain sabhi, Farq jatate kion ho

(It’s a good take on Vasudhaiva Kutumbukum – the whole world is one family, what does it matter to prove the differences?)
  • Saeed Qureshi concludes his poem
Mazhabi azadiyaan, ilm o masawat o amal
so taraqqi yafta qoumon ka a ayeen hai.
( freedom of religion, equality are the hallmarks of progressive societies)
15 More poems on their way!

CULTURAL PLURALISM

Some of us may have bias towards skirts, sarees, shalwar kameez, dhoti, Arab gear, pagdi, hat, topi, Hijab, pallu….does the bias contribute towards a well functioning society? Applying pluralism means – accepting each custom as unique, but not inferior or superior. You wear and feel good about your skirt, and I feel good about my Saree.  Humility builds bridges and arrogance destroys the relationships.
FOOD PLURALISM 

If you like Gulab Jamun and I like Ras Gulla – would we listen to a dietician, nutritionist, doctor, scientist, food connoisseur or any one -  if they say Gulab Jamun is better than Ras Gulla? You probably would  say – Chal, hut, bhaag yahaan say! 

LINGUISTIC PLURALISM

Back in Bangalore in the late 60’s – people have killed each other on the silliest of things – it is the size of the  cut out  pictures of Dr. Raj Kumar, Kannada film actor and M.G. Ramachandran, his counterpart in Tamil films. The fans were vying with each other to build the taller cut out for their idol - they went from 25 feet and all the way upto to 60 feet tall, rioting was common – all they had to learn was Raj Kumar means everything to the Kanndigas and MGR means everything to the Tamilians, so what?


PLURALISM IN BEAUTY
Because I am a guy, I am sharing my perspective – in college days we argued vehemently over who is more beautiful; Hema Malini, Waheeda Rahman or Rekha. We kept forgetting that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder,  and we would have saved the anger and a mukka - two of them become bitter towards each other, they were trying to force each other to believe either Hema or Waheeda was more beautiful. I said, so what you cannot even get an audience with them - Those guys envy me,  I had the luxury of sitting and talking with both the most beautiful women of India, and I was in hog heaven!
PLURALISM WITH SPOUSE

Please note, I will not use the language pluralism with wife – spouse means either wife or husband and in no particular order, as neither is above the other. Does it bother you that your spouse wears a dark green suit (male or female)? Is that a source of conflict every time you go out?  Why do we have to push the other to wear what we want,  and wear what is not comfortable to them... let them wear and be happy. A happy companion is better than the grouchy one waiting to get even.
Pluralism is simply an attitude – necessary to keep the conflicts in every aspect of life to a low level.
PLURALISM IN HINDI AND URDU
I attended the meeting at Urdu Ghar tonight, and I just could not believe the environment of pluralism there…   I am a life member of the International Hindi Association, a great secular organization, and I was looking for a similar secular and a pluralistic organization in Urdu – eureka, I found it.  I will write more about it.

We were working on finding a word in Urdu for pluralism -  many words were considered, but most of them agreed on the word “Bahimiyat” proposed by Dr. Amer Suleman, and now its his turn to explain Bahimiyat in a quartet or a full Nazm as an introduction in the program – like wise, the word Anekant vaad does not fully represent the breadth of the word Pluralism, and Anand has floated Anekta may ekta… we need another word to fully describe pluralism,  and I ask Anand Punjabi to write a quartet as an introduction or we ask  Nishi, Sushila jee, Fateh or Chini Saheb propose and write multiple words.
There was a good song in a film called “Do Kaliyan” which talks about dropping the Urdu-Hindi ka Jhagda – if you have time, it is a good song- by my mentor Kavi Sahir Ludhianavi.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQuBmwOUFpU
Please feel free to call me or any one of our team members – you can text me and give me the time to call back.  (214) 325-1916. I have a perfect record of returning every call and every email that asks me a question despite the amount of emails and calls I receive.
We are looking for someone to sponsor tea/soda/ pakora/samosa…. And some funding for producing the book – you can contribute from 50-500, all funds will be accounted and listed. You can go to: http://americatogetherfoundation.com/donate/



Thank you.

Mike Ghouse
(214) 325-1916/ text

....... Mike Ghouse is a speaker, thinker and a writer on pluralism
, politics, peace, Islam, Israel,India, interfaith, and cohesion at work place. He is committed to building a Cohesive America and offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day at www.TheGhousediary.com